Lines Of Blood
by SyrenHug
Summary: Things are different. Adrian is a suspended Alchemist who practices magic on the side and Sydney is a quiet Moroi with a bad reputation. But a lot of things aren't how they seem.
1. Foundations

_"There is a wisdom of the head, and a wisdom of the heart."_ - Charles Dickens

Keith lifted his hand to knock at the door, but it opened before he could do anything. I smiled at his shocked expression.

The woman who opened the door looked just as surprised to see us. She held a cigarette pack in one hand and it was obvious she was sneaking out for a quick smoke. She paused and gave us a once- over.

"Um. I prefer Catholicism but thanks."

I chuckled quietly. The woman was a Moroi, a couple years older then me with curly shoulder length blonde hair that shined. Like all Moroi, she was pale and had a tall, lean build. Startling gold eyes studied us. Admittedly, I favored brunettes but there was no doubt she was attractive.

"Miss Sage," I said formally. "It's nice to see you again."

She frowned, looking up at me. I was still a bit taller then her. "Do I know you?"

I almost said, "We met in your dreams." but decided against it. "We ran into each other at your Court last month."

"Right. The Alchemist." She pursed her lips which were smeared with lip gloss. "Adrian Ivashkov, right?"

I nodded, noticing that Keith had frozen up beside me. Ugh. He's acted like this would be no problem for him in the car; like this was no big deal, but here he was making a fool of himself. I would have had more sympathy if he wasn't such a bastard. Wait. Never mind. No, I wouldn't have. I smiled at Sydney and said smoothly, "Keith, this is Sydney Sage. Sydney, this is my colleague, Keith Darnell."

She nodded at him, taking out a lighter from her pocket. I really wanted to ask her if I could bum one. It'd been for ever since I'd had a smoke.

"They're waiting for you. Go on in." Sydney gestured to the doorway then leaned closer to Keith and whispered dramatically. "Beware." She poked him in the shoulder and strolled off, whistling The Addams Family theme song. Keith's eyes widened.

I pushed him through the door. "Come on."

When I saw who was inside, my stomach clenched. Abe Mazur.

Being around vampires was fine; I didn't really care either way. If you respected me then I respected you. Easy as that. Obviously, that wasn't something I could admit to the Alchemists but that didn't make it any less true. But being around Abe, well, that was a different story. He had me wrapped around his little Moroi finger and that scared me. I didn't like owing people things.

_Fake it till you make it, Adrian. Nobody can have power over you unless you let them._

I focused on the three other people in the room. Clarence was easily recognizable with thinning hair and a white mustache that resembled Santa Claus's beard.

"Adrian." Eddie Castile greeted me warmly. It was weird but nice. I liked Eddie, though we didn't know each other well. I shook my head as his eyes shifted toward Keith. The Alchemist next to me was not going to be a fan favorite. I guess that honor was going to fall on me. But then again, it usually did.

Beside Eddie was a dhampir I had seen but never been introduced to. Jill Mastrano had been in almost as much trouble as I had when I was questioned at the Royal Court. I could never forget a fellow trouble maker. We had to stick together in this world filled with law abiding citizens. Jill watched us warily. Guardian were like that, always alert, watching for any signs of danger. Even though I was glad they were around, I couldn't help wanting to tell them to relax sometimes.

A sly smile spread over Abe's face once my gaze returned to him. "Why, Mr. Ivashkov," he said slowly. "Aren't you going to say hello to me?"

I'd rather not. "Hello."

He grinned. He reminded me of The Joker except I didn't find Abe as funny. "It's good to see you."

"Likewise." But not really.

I walked over to Clarence and introductions were made all around. After a bit, Keith stopped acting incompetent and sit down with an arrogant expression. My disgust poured through me. Was it possible to be annoyed that a person was breathing? Because I desperately wanted him to stop.

Abe started asking Keith questions he already knew the answers to and I ran my hands through my hair. It was making me uncomfortable and I hated feeling like that.

"Hey," A familiar voice piped from behind me. "I didn't miss the party, did I?"

My eyebrows went up, surprised at seeing Lissa Dragomir here. Was this a family reunion? "Lissa?"

"Hey, Adrian." She smiled, her green eyes dancing around the room. If Abe was the mob king of Moroi then Lissa was the guardian queen of dhampir. Everything about her shouted elegance. She was sweet but feisty if you got on her bad side. Which not a lot of people dared do. Not if you wanted to keep all your body parts.

Her gaze rested on Keith. "Hi, other Alchemist."

He stuttered out his name and he almost had a heart attack when she told him hers. Sadly, he didn't actually die. Another Moroi entered behind Lissa. She had extraordinary features with ink black hair and cloudy gray eyes. Offering everyone a sincere smile she told us her name. Lea Donahue. Clarence's daughter.

"You live here?"

"Oh no," she laughed. " I go to college in LA. I'm taking part time classes this semester. I want to spend some time with my Dad."

Abe looked at Lissa. "Now that's devotion." She sighed. Hearing the sound made me realize how tired I was. We might as well get to the questions portion before I fell asleep standing up. I changed my stance, hands hanging at my side.

"You didn't have any problems getting here, did you? No more incidents?"

Lissa shrugged though her body tensed. Did she know her body gave away how she was feeling no matter what her mouth said? "Nothing we couldn't handle. The rest was uneventful."

"And it's going to stay that way." Jill stated firmly. Her blonde hair was in a tight ponytail making her look older then I believed she was.

"I should be the one staying. No offense, Adrian, but I'm the one who's gotta kick anyone's ass who gives Eddie trouble." Lissa said. I didn't doubt that she could do better but I wasn't exactly helpless.

"Lissa, you need to stay with Rose and keep her safe. I have Jill." Eddie said intensely, his sandy brown hair flopped over his forehead. He was so young. I mean I was young too but Eddie should have been at school goofing off in class and falling in love. It wasn't fair. "Everything is going to be okay."

We all fall silent and I decided that if I was going to stay awake, I needed some fresh air. Just as I was about to excuse myself, my sister bursted in.


	2. Emerald

**Disclaimer: I sadly don't own this series because Richelle Mead already does. But I do own Alchemist Adrian and Moroi Sydney. Yay.**

_I don't know much but I know this for certain_

_And that is the sun poking it's head round the curtain_

_Now please can we leave? I'd like to go to bed now_

_It's not just the sun that's hurting my head now_

Carly is more like my best friend then my older sister. We don't get to talk very often because she's always busy hanging out with her friends at college but it doesn't bother me. I like knowing that she's safe from this life. She's so open and friendly, I could never see her being any other way.

When I learned I could use magic, she didn't hate me or think I was weird. I was fourteen and she sixteen; our dad hadn't dug his claws in us yet. She helped me find spells and I never asked her how she got them. We practiced and my powers grew. She knows everything about me but I'd never told her about my deal with Abe. She would have tried to stop me and where Keith was concerned, there was no negotiation.

But she was uneasy around Moroi, like she didn't know want to get to close. Not that I blamed her. It was dangerous getting too close to anyone.

So, basically, seeing her barge in a room full of Moroi and dhampir wasn't on my list of things I thought I'd see in my lifetime.

"Carly? What are you doing here?" I leaned forward and studied her. She was flushed, which I conducted was from running, her blue eyes were glazed and she looked like she had been crying. My brotherly instincts kicked in. I lowered my voice. "Are you alright?"

"Eric just- I don't know- He was right there and-" She cut off when she saw Keith. Her face drained of color. A tear made a streak on her cheek. The whole room is quiet and I noticed Sydney had slipped in. Damn. At least Lea and Clarence had left the room and Abe had taken his old ass elsewhere.

I took a deep breath. "Keith, get out."

"Excuse me?"

"I _said_ get out. I don't want you breathing the same air as Carly. Go." His mouth hung open and I wanted to dare him to say something. He didn't. Just glared at me while he left, closing the door with a loud click.

"Adrian? What's going on?" Lissa demanded. She's standing up probably uncomfortable with this whole situation. Well, same here.

I turned to my sister and asked, "What happened?"

Carly bit down on her lip. Her eyes sad. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you but I met a guy. We've been together almost a year now. He's a- Well, he's a Moroi."

I heard someone hiss. I closed my eyes for a second. My sister is dating a vampire and she didn't even tell me. That's just perfect. The most interesting thing to happen all week.

"Go on."

"Well, we were walking down the street and some guys came out of nowhere and shot him," she paused her mouth turning down at the corners. "Eric pushed me into this dark space and I waited till they left to get out. He was still on the ground. I couldn't just-"

I know. She couldn't just leave him. You take care of the people you love.

"Where is he?"

It was the fifty million dollar question. She scanned the room taking in everyone. Oh.

"We won't tell anybody." That was Eddie. He looked at her softly, like he knew how hard this must be for her. Carly softened but she still didn't answer my question. The reason I had opted for keeping her in her instead of taking her out there is because I figured Lissa would have been able to help with whatever was going. And I was right. I couldn't tell Keith and I couldn't do this by myself. Even though I didn't like it, I needed help.

"Is he in your car?" I guessed. She nodded. Bingo.

"Please tell me you didn't-"

Her words are soft, like she's lingering somewhere between sadness and exhaustion. I wished things had been different for her. "I covered him with a blanket."

Lissa had her face scrunched up so tight I worried it might get stuck that way. That was her problem solving face. I watched her ask Jill something, she was already on board. Sydney narrowed her eyes at us. Apparently not everyone wanted to chance the Titanic.

Well, we all knew what happened there.

Maybe I needed to change my metaphorical boat.

"Burning him would be the best thing." Jill announced. Lissa was giving Carly a look that could only be sympathy. I imagined if she had lost Christian nothing would have been able to calm her down. Their kind of love was unimaginable to me. But, then, the only thing I had ever been in love with was an idea or a book.

I led Carly outside, supporting her a bit more with every step. Her lashes were fluttering, breathing slowing to a walk instead of a run. Being in pain was hard enough, but trying to hide it? I ached just imagining it. But we all did pretending, most of it unnecessary.

I didn't see Keith's car which was good, I didn't want to try to explain this. Plus, I really hoped I never had to look at his face again. Though that was probably too much to hope for. Jill caught up with us, the scent of gasoline filling my nose. God, this was awful. Burning someone seemed…Wrong. Unnatural. Well. Irony does really catch up with you doesn't it? Or was that Karma?

I reluctantly eased my sister from my grip. Jill had decided to drive the body to somewhere no one would find it and was waiting for Carly. Lissa was about to leave which left me and Eddie. And Sydney. Not that she counted, seeing as she was ignoring me.

I frowned at Carly. "Do you want me to come with you?"

"No. You need to go before you get in trouble. I'll be fine."

I hugged her tight, the hollow tone of her words leaving me wanting to feel her heartbeat. She was still alive even though she might not feel like it right then. "I'm going to check up on you constantly. You're going to get sick of me."

"Adrian. No one could ever get sick of you." She gave me something that maybe had started out as a smile but didn't quite get there. Then she left.

"She's going to be okay." Lissa tilted her head. I admired her optimism but I didn't share it. I gave her a smile that she rightly deserved and squeezed her hand.

"Adrian," she hesitated glancing over at Eddie and Sydney giving each other a rather awkward looking hug. Eddie was clutching on for dear life and Sydney didn't seem to know what to do with her hands. She had a blank expression on her face but I think she might have smiled a little. Hmm. Maybe the Ice Queen had a heart underneath. Lissa's next words jolted me out of that thought. "Be careful around her, okay? She's fragile right now."

"Why?"

A sigh. Her blue sundress fluttered in the breeze. I suspected it was about to pour. I loved the rain. There were so many more possibilities.

"Just be careful. She doesn't give anything without wanting something back."

Way to be cryptic. "Sure thing, emerald." That was nickname I had given her because of her eyes. "Now get out of her. You have babies to make. I want one named after me by the way."

She giggled, footsteps padding as she left. I noticed Sydney glaring at her retreating form.

"Didn't your mother ever tell you it wasn't polite to stare?" It slipped out. I hated it when I let things slip out.

She put her hand in her jacket, glaring at me. She had such a weird style. Everything matched. "Didn't your mother ever tell you it was rude to be an asshole?"

Well. Fine.

I grabbed Eddie and left.


	3. Steady On

**Thank you for the reviews. I appreciate them more then you know. -Sy **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bloodlines because the lovely Richelle Mead already does. But I do own Alchemist Adrian. Cool.**

_We have enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another. -Jonathan Swift_

It was pretty late when we got to Amberwood and I could see Eddie nodding off next to me. I had asked him if he was hungry and he had just shaken his head. He really was a quiet kid. I said his name softly, not wanting to touch him in case it made him feel uncomfortable. Some people did still believe in personal space.

"Mhmmm?" He mumbled, his hands stretching out. His hair was tangled from sleep and he reminded me of Zoe right then, the way everyone seemed to want to help her, keep her safe. There was some kind of innocence that spread around certain people and the people who didn't have it, wanted it or wanted to be around it.

"Were here."

Eddie blinked, looking out the window at the school we would be attending. It was a nice building, big and modern, but I had never been one for architecture. The palm trees, on the other hand, did interest me. I would never admit it aloud but I loved flowers, trees, all plants. I'd always wanted a garden. Totally manly right? But there was something so peaceful about knowing that something so beautiful could grow from something so small.

Honestly, I just wanted to feel like I was in The Secret Garden. Except without Mary's cousin because he was a brat.

Jill was at the entrance, waiting for us. I wondered how things had gone with my sister but wasn't going to ask. It was a secret that was going to stay buried. She looked over Eddie when she saw him. He noticed, even though he had been staring at a couple of girls walking along the paths. Well. "I'm perfectly alright, Jill. Adrian took good care of me."

She pursed her lips together, but walked us to our dorms, shooting me questions about how good the security was. Eddie kept making faces at her back and I couldn't stop snorting every ten seconds. That seemed to puzzle Jill but she didn't falter. Once she was satisfied (we had to push her out) we went to the room we were sharing and promptly fell asleep.

"Adrian?"

I opened my eyes and noticing the sun shining out of our huge window, guessed it to be morning. It made me groan. Please let me have five more minutes. Just five. I'd always been terrible at getting up early. Mornings were the devil.

"What time is it?"

There was a pause. I heard the bed next to me creak. "Eight-thirty."

Ew. I closed my eyes, throwing a pillow behind me and Eddie laughed. "I'm glad my pain is amusing."

Something hit me in the shoulder and I leapt out of bed. I was met with a grin. Little bastard. I grabbed my other pillow and even though he was using one of his as a shield, pressed it over his head sticking my finger into his tummy. "That's cheating!" Eddie started laughing in earnest and the pillows fell unto the floor.

"I didn't know there was a pillow fight handbook." I said as he started rolling to the edge of the bed giggles becoming contagious. So when we both landed on the floor I was snickering just as much as he was. The door opened and Jill came in wearing blue jeans and a t-shirt. She took one look at us and rolled her eyes. "Maybe you guys should be in my wing. You're acting like a bunch of teenage girls at a slumber party."

I'll damned if that didn't make me laugh harder.

"Hey, Jill Melrose?" A girl approached us half an hour later. I had been hanging by the wall nearby, watching Eddie interact with the students waiting for the orientation to start. Everyone (especially the girls) seemed to be hanging on to his every word.

Jill looked her over. "That's me."

"My name's Kristin," her hair was long and dark which was making this conversation my priority. "I'm your roommate and orientation leader. Sorry, we didn't get to meet last night."

"Well, I found my way through the door." I winced, chewing on one of my nails. That probably hadn't meant to sound so biting but it did. Jill's personality seemed to be an acquired taste. Kristin just gave her a strained smile that turned into a sincere one when Eddie came back over to us.

"I'm hungry like seriously when is this-" He stopped, realizing a random person was standing next us. He gave her arm a quick squeeze. "Hey. I'm Eddie."

I swear Kristin blushed. Oh God. This was going to be an interesting. "Do you want to start taking bets now or should we wait?" I whispered to Jill who looked unusually amused.

"Let's wait until he figures it out."

"I'd rather be alive to collect my money."

She snorted, dimples flashing. It was cute. I wondered why she didn't smile more often.

We watched them flirt for a minute or two then Kristin rallied everyone and we started our tour.

It was basic information but Kristin delivered it all with enough personality that it wasn't boring. She showed us major buildings and explained certain rules. Girls and boys weren't allowed in each other's dorm. Many people didn't like that and I almost laughed. I guessed siblings didn't count since Jill had just strode in. There was such a thing as incest. Probably shouldn't mention that though.

There were cafeteria's in each dorm and on the West Campus we stopped there to have lunch. I wondered for half a second if maybe Kristin had heard how hungry a certain person was. I could tell Jill had the same thought.

I didn't talk to anyone. Just watched. I wasn't shy or afraid to talk to anyone, Alchemists didn't have time for things like that. I'd just always been a loner. Being homeschooled for your whole life made being alone feel normal. I turned to the left. Eddie kept stealing my fries and even though I frowned at him (He pretended not to notice), I really didn't care. It wasn't like I was ever hungry anyway.

A girl in front of me stared at me and I stared right back. Her eyes were the kind of blue you couldn't drown in. They were too dark.

"How old are you?" She asked finally.

"Seventeen." I lied. I'm almost nineteen. Not that it mattered.

I got a nod and it's suddenly like no one knows I'm around.

Afterwards, there was the uniform fitting that I wanted to end as soon as it started. I almost got on my knees and started praying when it did. Mrs. Delaney shook her head at my relief. I don't know what she expected. They were subjecting us to a fashion disaster. At least that's what I heard some girl say when I passed by.

Ugh. One week in this school and I'd be giving fashion consultations. Carly would have a fit.

_Carly._

I wondered how she was doing but then filed it into my list of things to think about when people weren't around in case I started hyperventilating or something.


	4. Breathe Me

**I apologize for yesterday's chapter. It was really just a filler. And I had so many typos. Ew. –Sy**

** Disclaimer: Yeah, I don't own Bloodlines. But I do own Lea who is a strange character to write.**

_Don't want to live in fear and loathing_

_Just want to feel like I am floating_

_Instead of constantly exploding_

_In fear and loathing_

The next day was hardly eventful. There's this secret that teacher's forget to tell you on the first day, it's big and monumental, really profound. But if they would just say it, acknowledge it in some way, we would respect them more.

School is boring.

It just is. No matter how smart or popular or good-looking (Hey, I got best two out of three) it's not fun. Yeah, some parts are cool but in the long run it's dull. You could get a whole grade done in homeschooling in what would be half of a year here.

Though I loved English. Ms. Terwilliger was wacked and kept calling me Melbourne but she was entertaining. There's something about people who teach English. They get so wrapped up in the subject, in the history, that you can't help wanting to get wrapped up too. I couldn't help the grin that curved up and noticed some guy studying me with an odd expression. Barking up the wrong tree there, man. I gave him a look and turned my attention back to the board.

After class the guy cornered me. Wait. Wrong word. He _saddled up_ next to me as I was walking to PE (Ugh) and I was completely weirded out.

"I'm Trey." He said, brushing his unshorn dark hair with his hand.

I told him my name and hoped he would go away soon. He had a mischievous gleam in his eye that reminded me of myself. If there is one thing you should avoid, it's making friends with someone exactly like you. That was dangerous.

"Is there something you wanted?"

"Yeah. Actually, I'm curious about your tattoo." Shit. I brushed the lily on my cheek unconsciously. What do I say? That I was beamed here from outer space and this was a birthmark from my planet? No, that wouldn't work. Too sci-fi. Oh. How about the truth.

"It's a tattoo. Do you want the meaning behind it or something?" I asked, raising my eyebrows. It was a skill I was proud of.

He shook his head, still looking at me strangely. Then backed up, almost bumping into a guy with a trumpet. "Never mind. See you later."

Okay. Now I was late to a class I didn't want to go to. Sighing, I headed there anyway.

"I have chronic laziness. It's a disease that runs in the family and if I do any sort of exercise I could drop dead on the floor."

Miss Carson just stared at me. The whole class was laughing behind her. Lowering my eyelashes, I tried one of the many smiles that could get me out of anything.

"Come on. It's my first day. Take pity on a sick boy."

She sighed and I know I got her. "Fine. But you better believe that you're attending tomorrow."

I kissed her on the cheek quickly then started inside. "Thanks, ma'am. I owe you one."

"You sure do!"

I was searching for Eddie. We had planned a break out earlier today because Eddie wanted to go see Sydney. I didn't. But I couldn't very deny him anything when he gave me the pout. It was sad how fast I fell for it.

My shoe laces were dragging on the ground by the time I meet up with Eddie by my car. His hazel eyes were studying the ugly brown color of it.

"You got a problem with my car, man?" I asked and he jumped. Skittish as a kitten. Don't tell him I said that.

"No. It's-"

"I'm sure whatever lie you were going to come up with would have been nice but we should go if were going to get back in time for curfew. Sneaking out is no joke."

He nodded and we left. Once there, he stalked inside. Well. Someone was pissed off. There housekeeper and feeder (I tried not to grimace) led us to the room we had been in before. Clarence was no where to be seen but Sydney was lying on the couch rubbing her head. She looked hung-over. I felt bad for her though I couldn't relate. Alcohol was always a easy thing for me. No hang over's, throwing up or doing something I regretted. It was hard for me to get fully drunk like I used to want because it drowned everything out.

Sydney took one look at me and scowled. "Your uniform is ugly."

Now I hoped she felt a thousand hang over's everyday. "So is your face."

"Adrian." Eddie chastised. Yeah. That crossed a line. But people like her killed me. They were beating people up with their little judgy comments because they felt bad themselves.

"You don't have to fight my battles for me, Eddie. I can take care of myself."

"Apparently not. Look-" He glanced at me and tilted his head towards the door. I got the hint and closed the French doors on my way out. I wondered what they needed to talk about. They had such a intense relationship that I didn't understand. I was bit one of my nails and tried not to get freaked about being in such a old house. There could be ghosts. I mean, my Aunt Lauren had been nice and all but I didn't really want to see her floating down the stairs anytime soon.

I took a deep breathe. There are no ghosts here, Adrian. Calm down. I was concentrating so hard that I didn't notice almost bumping into Lea. I grabbed her arms to keep her upright. She smelled like fabric softener and I melted like chocolate on a sunny day.

"Hey."

Her eyes were frantic and unfocused. "I need your help with something."

"Um. Sure." I let got of her arms and before I knew it she was pulling me into a dark closet.


	5. Come Back Home

**Okay, so to be honest writing in past tense is so hard for me that it takes me forever to write like a paragraph so that's why it's been kind of stiff. I love present tense more then anything, it makes me feel comfortable so it may seem tacky but I'm slipping into present tense so I can do this story justice. You with me? I take the fact that you can't answer as a yes. – Sy**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bloodlines. But at least I can lay claim to this soup my mom just made. Ha. **

_In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner_ _spirit_. -Albert Schweitzer

I pull back breathing hard. When you have anxiety, small spaces are not your friend. Not even an acquaintance. "Um, okay, so this isn't really-"

Lea puts a finger on my lips or at least that's what I think it is because it's dark and I'm panicking.

"Adrian, you seem cool. Maybe a little twitchy but cool."

"Thanks. I think." I mumble already looking for the door knob. This girl is a couple of steps past the elevator.

Lea continues, pressing her body into my side. If she thinks she is going to get away with seducing me then she is utterly correct. Forgive me but I am a heterosexual male. Plus, her voice is sultry and who can turn down a woman with a sultry voice? "So I'm going to trust you and I hope you don't misuse it or I'll get pissed off and I'm not really fun when that happens.

Do you like to have fun, Adrian?"

I open my mouth searching for anything to get me out of here. Something brushes the hand behind me and I fumble, and then turn. Light floods in and Lea makes a noise in the back of her throat. She makes a move to grab me again but I'm gone.

"Are you okay?" Eddie asks when I get back to the living room panting. He and Sydney are sitting as far as possible from each other but they looked like they were having a pretty intense disagreement. There's something strange going on with them. Without thinking, I seat between them.

"Lea needs to be locked up."

Sydney smirks. "She took you to the closet didn't she?"

"You mean that wasn't-" I close my eyes and take a deep breath. This is a crazy house. Everyone here's a lunatic. I'm in an asylum. Good God.

"She has episodes. They come and go. She kissed me one time. It was very entertaining."

Eddie and I stare at her. She shrugs taking a sip of brandy that sits on the table in front of us. A blue blanket sits on her but she doesn't seem cold. Her eyes have darkened to molten gold today and it's impossible not to be hypnotized by them, by her. I notice her studying me studying her and I left my gaze somewhere safe. Which so happens to be the ceiling.

"You have a hangover. You really think it's a good idea to be drinking?"

Sydney blinks lazily. "It feels like a good one to me. But thanks, mom."

"He's right. You shouldn't be-" Eddie starts then shuts his mouth with a loud snap. Apparently, this a conversation they've had before.

"I'm tired. You guys are giving me a headache."

I roll my eyes. "That could be from all the alcohol you're putting in your body."

She ignores me directing her words at Eddie. "I'm not going to be here when you come back." His face contorts into something hard and it scares me how much older he looks.

"Who is it this time? Michael, Elliott or Sparrow? Or maybe all three at once."

Sydney shakes her head and for I second I swear she looks guilty but boredom whisks back in to save the day. I can't tell if she's bored of us or at this conversation. Probably both. I twist my hands in my lap and clear my throat.

"Spare me the lecture. You'll see me soon. Just not on Thursday, okay?" She spreads out her long legs and rests them on my lap. Um. I think it's time to go.

Whatever, Sydney. I'll see you whenever."

There's a silence after Eddie leaves and I make move to get up. Her legs hold me to my seat. She sighs and I think she means it to be mocking but it comes out sad which surprises both of us. I could like her if she wasn't so angry at everyone. A year ago, I was just like that. I'm still angry, yes, but I don't take it out on other people.

"Look after him," she says trailing a finger around the rim of her glass. "He's going to need it."

"Why don't you look after him yourself?"

I don't think I meant for it to come out so harsh. It's an interesting thing for her to ask seeing as I have to look after him anyway. But she says it like she didn't just mean it in a professional way. A layer of irritation shimmers in her eyes telling me not to push too far. But I've been always been one to venture into things I shouldn't be. It's like a reflex, something pushing me to hold on when I should let go, to talk when I should stay quiet.

We glare at each other for a minute then I find the view of the ceiling lovely again. Sydney hops up sweeping me under the rug like my dad always does. It makes me mad.

"I'm going to go before you start prophesying. Have good rest of the day, Miss Sage."

Halfway out of the room she mutters something. I don't turn back but ask, "Excuse me?"

"You can call me Sydney."

In the morning Jill is mad at us.

Like lecture-why-did-you-go-without-me-something-could-have- happened mad. I didn't listen. I have a short attention span. Eddie kept giving me glances, taking bites out of the muffin Jill had shoved in his face this morning. I declined mine, the thought of eating something so early in the morning made me nauseous.

"Jill," he basically purrs after she's wound down. I can't help but smile. "We're fine. It's not like we went and patrolled the alleys at night."

"Then why didn't you ask me to go with you?"

I instantly feel bad. We must have seemed like we were intentional excluding her. That wasn't cool. Eddie just rolls his eyes tucking in his blue shirt. Everyone around her matches. It depresses the hell out of me. Honestly. Who made wearing uniforms a rule?

"You were busy with that guy Trey."

"Is that why he started stalking me?" I say ignoring Jill's blushing. Not my business.

"Huh?"

I shift in my seat. "He was all over me before gym class. It was incredibly strange."

"You would find one who likes other boys." Eddie ducks his head when Jill throws a banana at him. It's weird how they get along. Fighting one second, friends the next. It reminds me of all the friendships I've never really had. I usually had my head in some book, studying some language or culture. The world fascinated me. I wasn't as brilliant as Carly but I could hold my own in school.

Eddie raises his hands in a surrendering gesture. "Truce, truce. I have to get to class. Tell Trey I said hi. Or maybe that's not a good idea. He might get excited and-"

I snort as Jill pushes him out of his chair. He leaves mumbling something about getting a new guardian. I shake my head at the girl next to me. "You can be so cruel sometimes."

She interlocks her fingers resting her chin on them. Her green eyes are not happy. Oh.

Five seconds, later I'm half running to class. Mrs. Terwilliger's eyes find mine when I storm in. I'm obviously early since she's still shifting papers around. I figure it would be rude not to say anything so I walk to her desk. "Good morning, ma'am."

"Hmm? Oh, I remember you. Mr. Melbourne." She pushes her glasses up on her nose.

"It's Melrose."

"Is it?

I nod slowly.

"Oh. Well, what can I do for you this morning?" I pause. I hadn't really come over for anything but decided to take the opportunity to ask.

"I have a gap in my schedule because I passed out of the language requirement. I wondered if you needed another teacher's aid." Trey looks over from his desk where he's been collating papers and frowns.

Mrs. Terwilliger shakes her head. "No. I don't but," she says before I thank her and sit down. " I could use some help with a book I'm writing."

And that's when I feel myself genuinely smile for the first time in awhile.


	6. Don't Even Try

**Sorry. I took a vacation from the computer. But I'm back. The person who reminded me that Jill has brown hair- THANK YOU. I totally forgot. Yes, there is going to be Sydrian. Though it will be rocky friendship for awhile seeing as Sydney hates everyone right now. But don't worry RandomReviewer. I've got plans. ;) -Sy**

**Disclaimer: I wish I owned something but Richelle Mead coveted it all. Grr. **

_Bathe me in light, protect me from myself_

_I don't believe in happiness since I've never been_

_Repeat the platitudes, repeat the verses_

_I just want to know my own worth_

_So pathetic, I can't even do this right and I'm begging for something I can't have_

_I'm so wrong and their so right_

Being a research assistant to someone who's writing a book on heretical religion and magic in the Greco-Roman world when you can do a tracking spell in under a minute is kind of funny.

After a few days of being at Amberwood the place started growing on me. I missed my mom, of course, but I couldn't very well drag her here with me. I couldn't even picture her working here. Too strict. She's easygoing, all play less work. My dad's the complete opposite. I don't even know how they ended up together.

"Who are you calling?" Jill asks Thursday evening on the way to the feeding. Were snacking on some chips I bought. I got it for her and Eddie but they suckered me into having some too. I'm taking tiny bites.

"Carly. Just leaving her a message so don't lecture me on driving safety."

Eddie gives me a sympathetic look. Not that I'm the one who deserves the sympathy. Eric wasn't the love of my life.

Um. That came out- Never mind.

"How is she?"

I frown, putting my phone back down when I hear her voicemail. I'm worried about her. Every time I call she doesn't answer. Normally, I would give her some space but this isn't the kind of thing you should just let go. I don't think she'd start the burning again but anyone can relapse.

But I don't say any of that to them. It's not their problem. "She'll be okay."

I'm not to keen to go in Clarence's house again seeing as I did almost get raped in a linen closet. Honestly, as long as Sydney isn't around I could brave a hurricane. Or maybe just a small thunderstorm.

Dorothy leads us into the living room telling Eddie to come to her room in five minutes. That's one thing I've never understood about Moroi; the feeders. How do you find the people? How can you just take a bite from them like their meat? It's disgusting but fascinating in some way. Jill catches my expression and shrugs sitting down next to Eddie on the couch. Clarence is present in the chair beside us wearing a faraway look. Okay.

"Hey." Lea says coming in the doors, her long black hair bouncing. I would pay to just watch her breathe. That's how insanely gorgeous she is. Mental illness or not. I nod and she tilts her head toward the direction of the kitchen. There are knives in the kitchen, I'd rather not. Eddie mutters. "She's not having an episode, dude."

So I allow myself to go with her, watching her drink some kind of pink juice. Gross. No amount of money would have me drinking something pink. She swallows and then bites her lip. "I'm sorry about-" she makes a vague hand gesture. "I didn't take my medicine."

"It's okay. It was strange but I'm Alchemist. I've seen stranger." I give her a tiny smile and she brightens. I've kind of realized over the years that there's a lot I can get away with, with my appearance but I can get away with so much more if I smile.

It's like a gift. I use it wisely.

"Is Sydney here?" I ask, just in case.

"Yeah." I make a face. Lea snorts. I guess I'm not the only one who doesn't exactly want to be in her company. Or in the same country.

"Yeah, Sydney's a piece of work. But that's not really her fault. She went through a lot. She's still going through it. Plus, she's been nothing but nice to me regarding my illness. Give her the benefit of the doubt."

I open my mouth to ask why in the hell I would do that but said women makes her presence known. Oddly, the yellow kitchen brightens her eyes.

Sydney rolls her eyes, pouring a cup of coffee. "Convincing everyone how amazing I am on the inside, Lea?"

Lea decides this isn't the place she wants to be and gives me a pat on the shoulder, her boots making a loud noise as she leaves the room. Thanks for abandoning me.

"Ivashkov," I raise my eyebrow at the use of my last name. "How are you doing?"

"Um, I'm doing fine. How, er, are you?"

Sydney is staring at her cup and I really would like to tell her that the coffee is cold and she should heat it up but –as is coming to be a habit- I refrain. She straightens up clasping her hands together behind her back. Why is she even talking to me? I'm pretty sure were mortal enemies. Okay, maybe not mortal enemies (Though that sounds cooler) but were sure as hell not friends.

She clears her throat. I must be making her uncomfortable. "I'm good. Look, we should be friends."

The expression on my face must be unbelievable because she laughs. It's not a nice laugh either; it feels like one somebody forced on her. I don't trust it.

"I'm not that bad."

"What do you want?" I ask because I know what she's doing. None of this conversation is real. Just like that she's back again. Like the past few minutes didn't happen. The pain and bitterness is in her eyes again and her posture is tense. For Eddie's sake I want us to get along but I don't know if that's possible if she was willing to fake her way into my good graces. There are a lot of things I can put up with but posers aren't one of them.

"Lea and I are going to LA tonight and I need someone to pick me up tomorrow."

Is she serious? LA isn't just down the street. But I'm not going to say no yet. "Why are you asking me?"

She takes a piece of her blond tousled hair and starts twirling it. It's so feminine, I wonder if she knows that she does it. "Because Eddie likes and trusts you, I don't know why since you seem completely ordinary to me, but he does. Therefore you must be a decent human being."

I think there was a compliment in there somewhere but I'd have to find a shovel to dig for it.

"Fine."

She narrows her eyes. "Really?"

I laugh. "No."

She crosses her arms, leaning on the refrigerator. I am hungry even though I try to pretend like I'm not. Being empty puts everything into prospective. Sydney probably knows something about that.

"I need to get out of here. We were supposed to have left earlier but Lea was doing God knows what in her room."

"You're not my problem, Sage."

"But your mine, Ivashkov." I sigh, sticking my hands in my pockets. Finding a penny, I fiddle with it. This is complicated when it should be easy. I weigh out the pros and cons.

"I'll think about it."

Jill comes in, not even acknowledging Sydney. I noticed that when I went to there Court awhile back rarely anybody looks her way or talks to her. It's like she's some kind of fly on the wall, nobody cares if she's there or she isn't. I feel a rush of sympathy go through me that I can't stifle. The thing about people treating you like your nothing is that after awhile you almost begin to believe that it's true.

Keith came to visit a few years ago and my dad was over the moon. It was like me and my sisters weren't alive. One night, I was going to ask him for help with one of my assignments and I overheard them talking.

"Adrian is too-"

Keith had shook is head. I know he used to like me. He thought I looked up to him, wanted to be him but I didn't. I just wanted everyone to think that. I wanted my father to think I was good enough.

"He'll be fine. We all go through that rebellious stage. He's going to be a great Alchemist."

"Maybe." My dad fiddled with his tie. "I wish he was a little bit more like you, son."

At that point I went back into my room and sat on my plain bed and looked around my plain room and realized how wrong it all was. I was sixteen and I'd never known that it was possible to not to want to be perfect. That was everything I'd worked for. But it shouldn't have had to be a job. Some people are okay with not being okay. Sometimes being happy is enough. Maybe not forever but for awhile.

So I found everything that reminded me of my dad and I threw it out. I got band T-shirts and a striped bed spread. I started listening to loud music and finding parties to crash. I had fun. And it mattered because I needed to know what it felt like to be my age. You grow up fast when you shouldn't have to and stay a kid when you need to be an adult.

And maybe it's all for the best.

So I tilt my head in Sydney's direction and ask Jill if she's going to say hi. Jill snorts. "You're kidding right? Anyway, I just wanted to tell you were leaving soon." She says then disappears. Wow.

"That was rude." I state. I mean, I don't talk bad about my friends but seriously.

Sydney's eyelashes flutter and she stares at me. "What?"

"Your really don't know, do you?"

"What are you talking about?"Her lips part. I notice she decided to go _au natural_ today. She looks lovely as always. For second, she mouth twitches and I swear she's going to smile but then it stops and were in this yellow kitchen with her cold coffee and we don't like each other.

"This isn't going to last long." She shrugs.

_That_ I believe.


	7. Car Crash On Route

**Sorry for the lateness. Working on my novel while changing some things to this story. Also, please watch your wording. Adrian sounds "gay" is offensive to me. I'm part LGBTQ community and I don't take that kind of stuff lightly. And so what if he is feminine? Some guys are. He's been around women his whole life. I appreciate the constructive criticism a lot, so thank you but all you had to say was, "He sounds feminine. Please work on that." Thanks. :) I'm bumping the rating up by the way.**

**Disclaimer: I wish I owned an Adrian Ivashkov or a Sydney Sage but alas, I do not. Ugh.**

Sydney's Turn

I was addicted.

Lea made me get a room far away from where she was, on the other side of the hotel. She complained of me making too much noise and even though that wasn't true at all, I let her have it. It wasn't my job to worry. She introduced me to some Moroi guys at a party and I watched as her form become crystal to a blur. Stalking off somewhere to find the kind of girl's she liked specifically.

Hale and Scott found me by the pool, nodding my head to the music. The beat was angry and off, the instrumental version if me. There were so many people there anything could have happened. But the brothers asked me if I wanted to go someplace and I took them back to my room, drinking more alcohol straight from the bottle. Hale (Or was it Scott?) laughed and told me to slow down and I didn't even look his way. They were a few years younger, still kids in their own way.

I was drunk or high when I had sex now. I liked being in that state of empty but breathing, it made everything hurt less and hurt more. It was pain mixed with pleasure. And pain is addicting. With the lights off and my eyes closed tight, I could imagine a different pair of hands and slower breathing, whispering beautiful lies that even then I didn't believe.

The guys were muscular and as tanned as us Moroi could be, with identical brown eyes that sparkled and tongues that delved into gasp-worthy places. But I didn't make any noises, just traced the shapes in the ceiling and felt them come undone. No effort or work from me. I rolled to the side and cringed at their touches. The cuddling was the worst part. Most of the time I found guy's hands in diverse parts of my body when I woke up. That is, if I ever went to sleep. Sometimes I stare at the bodies breathing deeply in the bed and wonder what I was thinking in the first place.

Sex is ugly but I used to think it was beautiful, that maybe it meant more than it actually does. Christian drilled that into me when I was having doubts.

"I don't have that with her. I'm only intimate with you." He'd say, dragging a brush through his dark hair. I used to curl it with my fingers for hours. He was that kind of beautiful that hurts to even look at, because it burns. And when I think about it now, it's embarrassing how pathetic I was. I would have done anything for him, and maybe, that seems nice to some people but it was just useless in the end. Love is always useless in the end.

Before I knew it my eyes were closed and someone was shaking me awake. I bolt up, taking in everything with only half my brain. I yawn. I'm still tired.

"What time is it?" I ask yawning yet again. I rove my hands through my hair in a dumb attempt to make it look presentable.

"One o'clock."

Shit. I recognize that voice. Adrian. Shit. The last person I would've liked to see me like this is seeing me like this. I have no clothes on and even though I make no move to cover myself with the blanket, I know I must be flushing. I haven't done that in forever. He isn't even looking at me though; he's studying Scott and Hale who are as naked as they were last night. I raise my eyebrows.

"Are you gay?"

Adrian snorts, his face twisting in humor. He's striking but unlike Christian, he doesn't use it to get whatever he wants. It's refreshing but dangerous. "I'm mostly straight."

"So am I." I'd never been particularly interested in women but I had hooked up with one once. It was better but not enough to make a difference.

"You came to get me."

"Eddie said you were miserable and when Eddie's miserable, all of Amberwood is miserable."

Yeah. He did have that effect. Such a charmer. I sigh, jumping out of the bed to find my clothes. Oh, I realize. That's why Adrian is looking at the guys, because he doesn't want to embarrass me. That was kind of sweet. I try to remember why we didn't get along.

"What are their names?" He leans by the doorway to the bathroom where I reside, trying to comb the knots out of my hair. I must look terrible.

"Hale and Scott."

"Cute."

I flash him a smile. "I know. Are you sure you're not gay?" He smirks in that way I know makes girl's hearts beat faster. Hell, mine even races a bit.

"I don't know how anyone could be while you're alive." Damn. That was one for the books. And it sounded genuine too. Even though his expression is completely innocent, his green eyes are sparkling mischievously. Ah.

"Are you flirting with me, Ivashkov? Isn't that against Alchemist protocol?"

He reaches out, taking the comb from my hand and undoing the knots himself. His fingers are gentle but it still stings. I clear my throat. "Fortunately, they don't cover flirting in the handbook."

I bite my lip because were talking and it's nice because I'm pretending that were friends.. He came and got me and even though it may not seem like a lot, it means something to me. I wasn't expecting him to come; I try not to expect anything from anyone anymore. He frowns and starts combing again, I watch him in the mirror. The flurescent lights make him look like a model. After awhile, he's managed to untangle everything so it's smooth. I don't know what to say so I ruin it.

"I'm not going to be nice to you now, if that's what you're expecting."

Adrian shakes his head, straight brown hair flopping all over the place. "I didn't expect anything."

* * *

"Would you stop touching the radio?"

"Well, sorry I don't want to listen to old ass music."

"It's classic not old."

"Aren't they the same thing?"

He makes a noise that sounds like a curse. Whether or not he wants to believe it, he's an easy target. Way too sensitive.

I go for a cheap shoot. "Your car's an ugly color."

Adrian taps his fingers on the steering wheel, taking a sharp turn. We didn't talk the first hour. I was exhausted and he didn't seem to care one way or the other. Watching the trees pass by with increasing speed, I smirk. I must really be annoying him. I wait for a comeback but all he says is, "I know."

Huh. Not the answer I was expecting. The car is an ugly color but it makes me think of coffee and I love coffee, even though it makes me sleepy. Adrian tilts his head which I noticed is something he does when he's annoyed. My eyes soak in the colors shimmering somewhere next to him. His aura is an unreal shade of purple with traces of yellow. Auras are tricky and I'm not the best at reading them but I know there's definitely something weird about his.

"So what happened?"

"What are you talking about?"

I'm graced with an eye roll. "With you and Lissa?"

"That's none of your business."

"I'm sorry." Well. Wasn't expecting that. I turn the radio station again. An annoyingly catchy pop song starts. Adrian tilts his head again. I grin.

"Lissa and I used to be friends. Now were not. It happens sometimes."

I don't know why I say it. Probably because he didn't expect me to.

He shifts in his seat. "It's because of Christian." I flinch at the use of his name and suddenly I really don't want to be in this car anymore. Adrian Ivashkov is treading on dangerous ground. But it's nothing I can't handle.

"Are you a virgin?"

"No."

I respect that he answered it right out, everyone I've ever asked has looked at me with some form of disgust or sputtered out something unintelligible. It's stupid. If you don't want anyone to know your business, then just say so. Who has time to play games? Okay, so I'm a little hypocritical.

Adrian surprises me a minute later with, "Are you?"

He can't be serious. "Did you not see me in bed with two naked guys, like, an hour ago?"

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean you had sex. And even if you did, that doesn't mean you're not a virgin."

I snort. So he's one of those. "You're a romantic."

"No, I'm not. But I'm not a cynic either."

I turn in my seat, turning the music down and scratching my navy blue sweater. Were tense again because of earlier and maybe I feel guilty but maybe I don't. So I draw it out, make it count. "You're mad at me. Because of Eddie."

A pause. No, that wasn't it. There's something else. Eddie would have told Adrian about me blocking the X- rated stuff out. I wouldn't subject him to that. Adrian doesn't say anything and I stifle the disappointment that wells up. It's dumb but I'm grateful for him talking to me, not many people want to breathe them same air anymore, much less talk. That's what happens when you did what I did. Of course, Christian got chastised with a four-month break from Lissa and I got a lifetime of being the Royal Whore, as I'm now known. I remember laughing when someone called me for the first time but it wasn't funny. It's like, I threw my life away for this one person who I thought loved me enough to pick me when I wasn't even an option. And for a while, it hurt, still does, but most of it is anger. I want the same thing to happen to Christian, I want people to hate him and treat them like he's trash and call him a whore because he deserves it, just like I deserve it.

But I also want to let him go and I don't know how to do that without someone I know would never betray me, helping me.

A strange noise pulls me out of my depressive thoughts. Adrian pulls his phone out of his pocket, keeping one hand tightly on the steering wheel. I know Jill must have lectured him at least once about that because he sends me an apologetic look.

"Hello?"

"Carly? What? What are you-"

I frown as his normally low-pitched voice goes up an octave.

"What's going on?" I ask watching as Adrian's face scrunches up. His creamy skin pales and I follow his gaze to the car coming straight at us. My hands instinctively go to the wheel but the car is already crashing and the last thing I think before everything goes dark is, _this is just fucking fantastic_.


	8. Hazy

**Hey, hey. How is everyone? I just started school so I've been busy, sorry. School leaves time for NOTHING. xD This is just a filler chapter. The next chapter gets to the good stuff.**

**ReadwriteLIFE: It's totally cool. All's well. Aw, you guys read it together? That's lovely. Hi, Garett ;)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bloodlines but whatever. I'll get over it. In time.**

* * *

"Sydney."

I cough. A loud, ugly sound that echoes in my ears. My eyes fly open and memories of what happened flash in my head. It takes me a few seconds to realize its pitch dark, wherever the hell we are. I can hear Adrian breathing hard on the right side of me. A small rush of relief that he's okay goes through me and I grimace.

"Why the hell weren't you looking where you were going?"

I can barely make out Adrian's shaking shoulders in the darkness. Is he crying? Please don't be crying, I think. I don't know how to handle weeping men. Unless, it's, like, from an orgasm or something. Then I just push them off the bed, point and then laugh. Totally insane but true story.

"Um. Ivashkov," I clear my throat. "You okay?"

"You were bleeding. You were breathing fine but you were losing a lot of blood and-"

I interrupt. "That's nice that your care and everything but-"

"That's the first thing you said. It's been two days, you almost bleed to death and the first thing you do is berate me for talking on my cell phone." A deep sound comes out of his mouth and I recognize it as laughter. He's laughing at me. The absolute nerve.

"You deserve it. Cars don't just fall from the sky; you should have seen it coming." I pause, licking my lips. They taste like salt. It's hard to swallow. "What the fuck is in my throat?"

I can just tell he's rolling his eyes. "Bile, I suppose." There's a pause. He's waiting for me to ask but I don't think I'm ready to know. But I guess I'm going to have to be.

"Where are we?"

"Some sort of facility, I think."

I run through all the possibilities in my mind, but nothing adds up. We came to Palm Springs for Eddie's safety. He was the one who was attacked. I was never in danger, I wasn't the one being targeted. And Adrian is human, an Alchemist yes, but nobody important.

Wait. Adrian said we'd been here two days and if I almost died that meant that Eddie definitely would have seen where I was, which meant he was probably on his way here.

Fantastic.

"Did you hear anybody?" I ask, scooting closer to him. It's crazy how cold I am. I could probably feel Adrian's heat from all the way across the room. Something warm brushes my skin, making me lean into what I believe is his shoulder. _Jesus._ He's like a radiator.

"Yeah, but they weren't discussing anything of substance."

"Sometimes you talk like you're eighty-five years old."

"You talk like a fourteen year old whose just discovered swear words for the first time."

Okay, I'll give him that. I do have the tendency to express myself with colorful (and naughty) phrases.

"How did you stop the bleeding?" My hands find my stomach and I flinch at the nausea that spreads over me.

"You don't really want to know, Sage."

I guess I don't.

We stay silent for a long while. I'm not sure what's going on or why were here but I understand that this is an insane situation to be in with someone who you've only known for two weeks. Since I sincerely doubt whoever rammed us with a car and locked us in a dark room when I was obviously hurt, wants to buy us ice cream and let us go, there's a chance we might not make it.

Secretly, I used to enjoy the idea of dying. When Rose told me about the spirit, I knew I wanted someone to, well, kill me before I lost my mind. It sounds crazy but mind and my memories are important to me and I don't want to ever lose them. Not that anyone would really care if I was gone. My mom's in prison and my dad's a complete asshole who couldn't care less about how I'm doing. There's no one present, no one really there.

Except Eddie.

He's so angelic and innocent sometimes and it cuts me up to know that he has to feel the ugliness of my darkest emotions. He's so..._Good._ And I don't know how to get to that, how to turn all the darkness I have into something better. I grew up a good Catholic girl with a strong sense of right and wrong, a father who adored me and friends who looked out for me because I was so delicate. Now I have sex with strangers and drink heavily because I'm depressed. I don't feel bad for myself (anymore) but I wish things were different. I wish I didn't want to die.

Adrian exhales deeply, blowing cool air on my arm which I must have laid on his lap. I notice his breathing is erratic. "What's wrong with you?"

"Panic attack." He manages. Shit. Why couldn't he just have a fear of spiders like a normal person? No, I had to get stuck in a room with a fear of closed spaces. I wait a few minutes then start speaking in a low soothing voice.

"Just picture a park with lots of kids-"

"I hate kids."

How do you hate kids? That's like hating kittens or puppies. Impossible. I sigh.

"Fine. A deserted park with wind blowing the trees this way and that. The sun is shining and-" He shakes his head, the strands of his hair brushing against my face. It's strange, I know, but he smells like a vanilla latte.

"You said the park was deserted but if it's a nice day, why wouldn't there be kids there? Unless, it was during school hours."

"I thought you hated kids. And aren't you supposed to be having a panic attack?" Though I can't help but notice his breathing is skidding to a steady pace. Give the guy an illogical scenario and everything works itself out.

"Sorry."

"_Anyway_," I stress, sending out an eye roll I wish he could see. "Think of blue skies and tire swings."

"But-"

"Shut up." I snap, trying to hit his arm, only succeeding in hitting the wall. It stings but I'm glad I can still feel something. Even if it is just pain.

He chuckles, a sound that's nice to hear. I seem to be the one making him laugh a lot today and that fills me with something I haven't felt in a while; pride.

It's so stupid.

Suddenly, Adrian covers my mouth with his hand. His fingers are long and lean, brushing that spot on my mouth where I'm most sensitive. Shivering again, I mumble, "Ivashkov, what are you doing?"

There's a soft noise from the other side of the room and I realize what's going on. Adrian's fingers leave my face, trailing down to my arm, feeding me some of his energy so I'll be able to last. My ear tickles when he puts his mouth next to it. "If I tell you to run, you run, okay? No arguments, Sage."

I don't necessarily agree with this plan, though I nod stiffly. If he thinks he's going to be the hero, he's sadly mistaken. Sydney Sage is no damsel in distress. I can save the day better than he can. It crosses my mind that there's something he's not telling me but I let it go for now.

A bright light floods through the room, forcing me to close my eyes but it feels good. When you're in the dark for so long, it's refreshing to see the light. I open my eyes, relishing in it. I turn to Adrian, whose still surreal green eyes are looking at me blankly. It doesn't suite someone like him. That's the kind of expression you'd catch me in when I'm thinking of Christian or my mom. I wonder what closes him off.

The room we're in is white and practically empty. There's a small bed next to Adrian and it's exhausting just to glance at. My body got its sleep but my mind didn't.

A male voice, smooth and smug, runs right through my thoughts. "You know, I'm surprised you're still alive."

"Sorry to disappoint. I'm not that easy to get rid of." The man seems familiar, like I've seen him passing by or in a dream. He looks like he's in his late twenties, with short blond hair and chocolate-brown eyes. They're not the warm kind either. I've always been a sucker for warm brown eyes.

Beside me, Adrian is shaking his head, glaring at the guy with undisguised hatred.

"Who are you?" The man snorts, leaning in the doorway. His stance is insanely cocky. I hate cocky guys. Their only half as attractive as they think they are, which no matter how good looking, is less than nothing. So I'm a cynic, that doesn't mean I don't believe that the stuff inside doesn't matter the most.

He clicks his tongue, smiling at Adrian who was already standing up. I notice his leg looks a little wobbly and scowl. We weren't going to get far if we both had injuries. The guy notices something behind him and starts yelling out a string of curse words. Well. Somebody has a temper. I give Adrian a questioning stare but he just shoots me a half smile.

When he turns back to us, I bite my lip. I can't wait to get out of here.

"I'm Eric." He gestures behind him. "And I'm sure you all know Keith. Say hi, Adrian. Your going to be with us for a long time."

* * *

**It might be awhile till I update again so don't hate me. After the next chapter, some time will have gone on. Like two or three months. Okay? Okay. xD Have a good day, mon amie's.**


	9. SO not a chapter but READ

**No new reviews? AW. :( I'm all sad and everything.**

** So I just want to take this time to tell you guy's things and explain some stuff about this story. Just to shine some light.**

** When I started out I wanted it to be super clear that Alchemist Adrian was not going to be exactly like Alchemist Sydney and Moroi Sydney was not going to be exactly like Moroi Adrian. All the characters are flipped but there are some things that they share with the people of their names.**

**Alchemist Adrian-**

** He's easy- going, friendly but not necessarily an open person. He may seem all sunshine and roses but he's not. He has a temper (Like A Sydney), is super loyal (Like both of them), protective of people he cares about and totally book smart. He flirts and charms and knows he's attractive but doesn't really care. BUT he also has issues behind what you think. He has anxiety (obviously) and a slight eating disorder. Plus, something that happened to him when he was younger that severely messed him up. Keep in mind that while he seems really tame, it's mostly all just a façade.**

** That "mostly straight" joke was meant to be a little dig (A nice dig not a mean one) about one of my favorite erotica writers who considers himself "mostly straight". It was just a joke. This is a Sydrian friendship/romance story.**

**Carly wasn't raped by Keith in this story but he groped her which led Adrian's protectiveness to blow up and you know what happened there. Carly isn't as good as she seems either so watch out.**

**This Adrian is powerful as fuck and that's eventually going to piss some certain people off. There's this whole evil gang who sort of kind of work together. Like Keith and Eric have a little group which involves Lea. Then, The Warriors of The Light are flipped into being The Warriors of The Dark, basically a group of Moroi who help out when needed.**

** Trey is gay, by the way. And he has a very familiar love interest.**

** Muwahaha.**

**Note: I write fem slash and slash so if you don't like that then please understand that ****_I love it. _**

** Moroi Sydney-**

** She's…Interesting, to say the least. Remember what Lissa said in the first chapter? I'll take a little request of you can remember. Well, that pretty true. She's sarcastic (Like M Adrian), sexy, and honest. She doesn't beat around the bush or get embarrassed about things. She's badass. Like Alchemist Sydney, she loves coffee and is eventually the one who names Adrian's car Latte. It's mostly because Adrian smells like coffee to her.**

** While she's all those things, she's also bitter, harsh and angry. She's controlling and manipulative and has a bad habit of drinking or smoking when someone starts getting to close.**

**The Christian/ Lissa/ Sydney thing was complicated. Lissa and Sydney were really close (Along with Rose) and when Christian came on as an older guardian to Rose, Lissa really didn't like that. Sydney, cousin to the queen, really liked Christian and started dating him. The thing is, they were dating privately and Sydney didn't realize Christian was also dating Lissa until five months into the relationship when Lissa told her. Obviously, Lissa was keeping it a secret because dating a guy who was guarding the same person as you were wasn't looked very highly upon. With Sydney it was just because the whole Moroi Dhampir thing made her uncomfortable. **

**Here comes the craziness. Sydney loved Christian and when she found out she was super pissed off thought mostly hurt and guilty, but Christian used his charm to weave his way back into her good graces and eventually (Even though she hated doing it) cheated with Christian on Lissa. A couple months later, everyone found out and ****_someone *coughs* Manwhore_****- lied and said that the relationship had only been going on for a little while. Sydney kept quiet then proceeded to sleep with guys in the Court.**

** Yeah. That's where Royal Whore comes from.**

**What I want you guys to realize is that, Christian is a pretty sleazy character. Honestly, I hate him. But you shouldn't. He's not evil. He did something totally disgusting and lied about it, leaving Sydney with the blame but they made the mistake together. He was crazy in love with Lissa but after coming back from being you-know-what (XD) he decided to throw that away. No excuse really but he's not a bad guy. Bleh.**

**Sydney dresses exactly like her original. Except she's always matching and Adrian thinks that's funny. Their relationship for her is going to be a good kind of weird because she needs someone. She's kind of all alone, she wasn't always that way.**

**Moroi Eddie-**

**A complete flirt. XD But he's great, a lovely character to write because he's so sincere. I love love love writing the whole Adrian/Jill/ Eddie sibiling relationship because it's fun and sweet. Eddie does indeed like Jill but she doesn't really like him. And then we throw Angeline into the mix and BAM. It's going to be crazy. And suprising. You might be able to guess though.**

** I write a lot of romance and I know there's so many things I could do better on, but people have always told me that is one area I can do perfectly. I'd like so believe that's true.**

**I don't believe in pretty lines and one person dominating another. I believe in everything being shared as equals. Everything is going to be felt together. Balance. No one's going to love the other more, or want the other more or just control the whole relationship. No. No way. I find that creepy, the whole, "I own you." Loving someone is about belonging to ****_each other_**** but, even then, nobody's buying a house. I didn't know people could be property. That kills me. I may like to be in control but if I care about someone, I'll let them know their hold on me. Maybe I won't say it, but I'll show it.**

** *sigh* Okay.**

**Rant over.**

**This has been a message from your deranged author.**

* * *

**I have no idea when I'll be updating next but it will be coming. Je n'aime pas le maths.**

**Now that's evil.**


	10. Gravity

Hey, guys. I know. It's been forever. That's why in honor of Thanksgiving I decided to update. I'm thankful for writing and all you guys who have supported me and my lovely Lauren, who I totally forgot to wish a happy Thanksgiving to. And my friends and family who actually treated(and continue to treat) me like a human being. I hope everyone's having a blessed day.

To Kaya and Melanie: Thank you. I appreciate you.

Disclaimer: I do not own this world but in some ways I am glad for that. I like coming up with my own. ;)

* * *

Sydney's Turn

**1 Month later.**

"Hey."

Eddie's voice makes me jump. I swear the kid's become some kind of ninja lately. My fingers run down my dress to probe my scar. It's become a nervous habit. I don't even know why I'm nervous.

"Why aren't you in there?"

He sighs. That in itself is an answer. I can hear the whispers of conversation inside. Lea, Keith and Jill are speculating about the murders involving three girls who had been being raped nearby. Something fills me and a thought fleets through my mind and sticks there. I press so hard on my stomach it stings. Eddie pretends not to notice my wince. I pretend not to notice him pretending not to notice.

Yeah. _I know_.

"Do you think he's okay?" His question echoes in the night air. I don't want to think about Adrian or what happened. I want to be somewhere else, preferably with a plastic bag over my head.

"I think he's dead."

"Jesus, Sydney. That was blunt."

"Oh, well, sorry for being honest. I won't do it again."

We're silent and I know- I can just feel a lecture coming on. There are days when I feel like Eddie's trying to be some kind of twisted version of my father. It makes me sick. But how do you tell someone who cares about you more- oops. Let me rephrase that. How do you tell the _only one who cares about you_, that you want them to care about you less? Kicking puppies has never been my favorite thing.

A rustling sound to my right breaks the quiet. I squint out into the distance but there's nothing but Clarence's tacky flowers. I must be hearing things. Eddie clears his throat and I look over at him. "What?"

"Sydney, you know I, uh, love you, right?"

We are so not having this conversation.

"Eddie-"

"No. Let me finish before you make some smartass comment and try to forget I ever said this," He states, hazel eyes shining in the moonlight.

"We got stuck together. I knew you before the whole Christian thing but I didn't really know you. You were so popular and everyone wanted to be around you and I admired you just like everyone else. But, now, you're basically my sister and I'd do just about anything for you. You feel lonely and scared but that's okay-"

I turn away. My legs start moving back towards the house because _we are not having this conversation_. There's a tug on my arm and, even though this is pointless, I spin around to face him. He gives me this look (the kind that always freaks me out), holds his hand out and whispers, "It's okay."

Do you ever ache to do something, but you can't because you know it'll give people high expectations of you? Like if I were to start initiating hand holding people would assume I was thawing, like snow when the sun finally breaks out. So I can't. But I want to. And Eddie gets it. I wait a few seconds.

"You know for a second there I thought were going to confess your undying love for me. But I guess your saving that for Jill, huh?"

"I take it back. I will hate you until my dying day." That makes me laugh, which is weird but not in a bad way.

"If you'd just tell her I wouldn't be-"

Eddie suddenly has somewhere to be. The hypocrite. "It's cold. I should get back inside." He walks a few feet away then stops. He smirks, like he knows something I don't. "I'll see you later, Sydney." My eyebrows go up. It's not like I won't be inside in a little while. I listen for his footsteps and take a deep breath when they fade.

If you think about it, life is a constant push and pull. Someone's always pushing you to be what they want you to be. You're always pulling to be who you want to be. I guess the thing is that after awhile you get tired, the motion starts to make you sick and you settle down into what life makes you.

Sometimes I get tired of pulling.

"Sage, why aren't you wearing a coat? It's freezing."

My body freezes. That voice sounds a lot like...

"Adrian?"

His tall form comes into my view and I don't know what to do so I stare. This is crazy. How much did I have to drink today? Because maybe I did go a little extreme but there was a lot of people talking all at once and my head was hurting. Jesus. Adrian rolls his eyes, which are even greener then I remembered. He has a bruise on his neck and his jeans are torn but he looks good. Amazing. Maybe I shouldn't even be surprised. But it makes me angry.

"I see you're still as fashion impaired as usually."

A smile. "Good to see you too, Sage."

So, like, does he think now would be a good time to tell me where he's been. And, oh, why I can't remember bits and pieces about the day we crashed.

I fumble in my jean pocket for a cigarette and light up. Ignoring him is the more appropriate option. He sighs and stands closer to me, draping his coat around my shoulders. "Do you mind?" I shake my head and he leans in and put his mouth on the end of my cigarette, pulling it out of my mouth. I shiver, which is strange because I'm really not that cold.

"Dude."

"Sorry. Not really."

Asshole. I hate guys. I wish women could have sex with other women to have children. I add that to my non- existent Christmas list. Okay, now it exists.

"I'm going to be leaving again soon. There's a lot of stuff going on that I don't want get you guys involved in." And Keith obviously has something to do with it. That much I remember. An idea takes shape but I hesitate. Is this what I want? My mouth forms the question anyway.

"Can I come? I mean, when you leave again?"

"Why?" Confusion etches itself into his expression.

I don't know. Maybe because I'm getting stretched so thin I am practically invisible. "Just let me come. I could help you. Your so hopelessly clueless and naïve. You'll need someone like me around."

"I'll think about it."

He hands me the slim white fixation back. I put it out, wondering if I'll ever understand him. Then again, why would I want to?

I tilt my head. "I'm going back inside. You might want to tear some of your clothes and look less…"

"Good-looking? That's impossible."

"Shut up and hurry. You'll get sick out here without you're coat."

"The coat you have on," He makes a _tsk_ sound at the glare I send him. "Besides, I didn't think you cared."

I don't. He just makes me feel like a contradiction. Like I want to strangle him and be his friend at the same time. Not that I'll tell him that.

Suddenly, he says, "We could go now."

Is he serious? The expression on his face tells me deadly so. I weigh my options. Stay in the house where nothing ever changes but my boredom levels, or go with a person I was admittedly worried about but mostly am suspicious of?

"Fuck it. Let's go. But you're explaining everything and I mean it, Ivashkov."

Adrian laughs, grabbing my hand. His hand is warm, reminding me of when were trapped in that room and I snuggled close to him for body heat.

"Yes, ma'am."


	11. Ready Or

Hey. I'm tired. I've been working this for a long while. I had kind of a block but I worked through it. This is probably the longest chapter I've written but it's likely complete and utter crap. Whatever. Review, don't review. Love me, don't love me. It's a free country.

Thanks to: My mom for making that fantastic spaghetti last night and buying me cheese cake. Your okay...For a human.

Disclaimer: I'm just fucking with Richelle Mead's characters.

* * *

Sydney's Turn Still

"You did what?"

He winces, looking anywhere but me. The table, our waiter flirting with the woman across from us, my boots. If I didn't supremely want to murder him right now I would have teased him about it.

But I was furious.

"How dare you? You had no right to erase my memory!"

Adrian bites his lips which are slightly chapped from the cold. I had been totally surprised when I saw his car parked down the street. I mean, we'd been in a car accident for God's sakes. And it was still in perfect condition, like nothing had ever happened. Eventually, after a while of driving in silence, I'd complained of hunger. Mostly I just wanted to get him in a public area so he'd have no choice but to tell me what happened. Oddly, he gave me every single detail. I'd still yet to ask him where we were going.

"I'm sorry."

My hands fiddle with my coffee cup. "You sure as hell better be. That's like mind rape. Since when did you have magical powers?" I was starting to feel like we were in a fucked up version of Harry Potter.

"I was born with them. At least I think so." He finds it in his heart to return his gaze to mine again, bless him.

"How do you not know? Didn't someone tear through your door on your eleventh birthday or something?" Long lashes bat on sharp cheekbones for a minute then a laugh bursts out. I see the guy in front of us eye him, interested. Jesus. Does he have admirers everywhere? It's almost ridiculous in its obviousness.

I shake my head, focusing on the smiling green eyes in front of me. "What's so funny?"

"You." Adrian says, still chuckling a bit.

"Hmmm," I take a sip of my coffee then make a face. Not enough sugar. "That's what every girl wants to here."

Out of the blue, he whispers, remorsefully, "Don't be angry."

I'm so very cynical, condescending, cutting. But I have never been unfeeling; no matter how much I try to pretend. So I get it, I understand why he did it. He's a good guy and as boring as that is, it's not a bad thing. But I've never been one to take orders well.

So I accidentally (on purpose) kick his leg and shrug.

"Well, I am. It's a free country and you can't tell me what to feel. Or, coincidentally, what to remember." And with that I end our conversation, snapping for our lazy waiter to take our orders already.

* * *

We stay at a hotel.

Since we're trying to save money we have to share a room. He offers me the bed and I offer him my finger. The middle one if you weren't wondering. I'm in the kind of bad mood even Eddie would be exasperated with. Whatever. Everyone is entitled to bad days. Or bad years.

"We'll share the bed. It's too late to be awkward." I snap. He throws his hand up in surrender. We shed some unnecessary clothing then I turn the light off.

The night doesn't threaten to pull me somewhere safer like I had hoped. Maybe the warm, breathing body next to me has something to do with that. I hesitant then turn to see him staring at the ceiling. How strange it is to be close to someone like this without having sex. My voice is tired when I ask, "Do your parents not know?"

He picks up on what I'm asking. "No, they don't."

"Why not?"

"Because my dad…Well, he's not a very nice person. My mom loves him so much she lets it continue. And because I'm an Alchemist, a fake one, but one nonetheless. They believe magic is disgusting, totally against God. I wouldn't be accepted." Adrian says, unemotionally. Who'd have thought someone who shines as bright as him would have little knots of sadness deep inside. Now it's my turn to apologize. But I don't, not really.

"That sucks for you."

He snorts, as bitter as black licorice. "What about your parents?"

"Well," I shift in the bed noting how close we both are now. The covers are only half drawn over him so I catch a peek of his chest. Not bad. "My mom's in prison and my dad hates me."

Adrian doesn't offer any of those excuses people throw at you when you're being scary honest. Just squints like he's trying to decode a hidden message in my words or in me. Who knows? We're so screwed up. The perfect pair. "I bet you my dad's worse then yours."

"Impossible. My dad left at an airport when I was eight."

"My dad forgot my birthday three years in a row."

"That's like a 3 on the scale. It doesn't count."

"Oh, I didn't know there were rules."

Okay. "I guess there isn't."

"I'm worried about Eddie."

It's so random but I can't act like I'm not worrying too. Jill is a great guardian but Adrian was there for a reason and I'm not sure how I feel about us leaving him around Keith. I let the statement hang in the air for a moment, to recognize it as being there then I change the subject.

"Is your sister really involved with Keith and Eric?"

A sigh. Everything is catching up with him now. "I don't know. She warned me, before we crashed. I just couldn't understand what she was saying. Eric faked his own death for a reason. I just hope she's okay."

"Where are we going? Are we looking for her?" I manage to hold back the question I want to know the most. _What did they do to you in there?_ He seems fine but that doesn't mean he really is.

But his tone books no further questions when he states, "We're looking for somebody." I can practically hear the- _now go to sleep_ and I'm about to turn around again but then I feel a hand wind it's way toward my back and push me closer. Oh good God. He must out of his mind what the absolute fu-

He gives me a look in the darkness that makes me pause. Why is he so warm? "Shut up and go to sleep."

"Fuck you." I mumble, into his shoulder.

"Sorry, I don't do blondes."

And it's only because I'm tired that I don't give a retort.

* * *

In the morning I'm a mess of repressed comments. It's not like me to hold anything back at all. When I think something, I say it. No matter how crude, rude or weird. Simple as that. But there are a lot of things I've been thinking lately that I don't particular want out in the universe. I don't want them in general. Like- dare I think it- feelings? Ugh. I shudder even to acknowledge it.

Adrian gets in the car after making a phone call and rakes a hand through his hair messy brown hair. He looks like he just rolled out of bed without glancing in the mirror, which is true. I was going to have to make him buy himself a comb. I, however, looked perfectly put together. My hair was in a pony-tail and I was wearing a white long sleeve shirt with a black vest and purple skirt. Even though my feet were going to hate me later, I had worked in some black heels. This was one of those days were I wanted to feel pretty.

He stares at me for a long moment than whistles. A long, keening sound that creates a contrast to loudness of the engine revving. "You put every woman on earth to shame, Sydney."

The use of my first name contributes to the intensity of the compliment and I think I might be blushing. I make up a song in my head. _Feelings, feelings go away, don't come back another day. _

And in my mass confusion I accidentally go, "You don't look so bad yourself, Adrian."

Jesus Christ. Why did I even volunteer for this? But he just laughs, shooting me a smirk that does nothing to help these. Dumb. Feelings. So I search for something, a flaw I can pounce on, a crack I can break open even farther.

"But you're so skinny. Do you ever eat? It's like you starve yourself."

He stiffens, glances out the window for a minute then straight ahead. "Were heading to Nevada, just in case you were wondering."

That distracts me from the guilt that stings me like an electrical surge. "Who are we looking for?"

"Marcus Finch." Is all he gives. And he doesn't talk again for a long time. After awhile I must doze off because I dream.

_ "I'm Eric." He gestures behind him. "And I'm sure you all know Keith. Say hi, Adrian. You're going to be with us for a long time."_

_ "Look, we kind of have somewhere to be but it was nice to me- Oh, wait. No it wasn't." I scoff. Adrian's gaze is still too bright on mine. Something is wrong. Supremely wrong._

_ Eric just laughs. "You're cute. We just might keep you. How about it, Keith?" The man in question shakes his head. Why anyone thinks he's attractive is beyond me. "We can't. She and the boy are spirit bound. They'll be here soon."_

_ My mouth moves of its own accord. "I'm right here." _

_ "And you," Eric's gaze rests on Adrian's, who looks completely shut down. "We have things to discuss. I'm sure you've heard from your sister recently?"_

_ More recently then you think. But Adrian doesn't make a sound. What is he playing at? Keith is eyeing him in way that makes me feel oh, so uncomfortable._

_ "She wants you to help us." Lies. I marvel how someone can make something so false sound like the truth._

_ "Adrian," Keith has turned to face the corner now. "You should see her out. Make sure she doesn't remember any of this."_

_ I'm so close to protesting but Adrian's hand is on my wrist and he's tugging, tugging me out the door. He takes me down a hall and I realize how big this place is. It looks like a mental hospital. We turn down a corridor and his hand is still on my wrist. Suddenly, I have to ask, "Where are we going?"_

_ "I'm not going anywhere. You are. "_

_ "You must be out of your mind if you think I'm leaving you here with them!" A pause. My back presses against a wall and I can see something red blinking up ahead. I glare at Adrian, who's almost translucent against the whiteness of the walls._

_ "Their going to try to get me to join them." His voice is matter of fact. He could be saying the sun is hot or that imaginary friends aren't real._

_ I sigh, exhausted with him. "Where are we?"_

_ "Guess." He smirks. We're in an unknown place where anything could happen and he's smirking?_

_ "Fuck you."_

_ He pins me harder, roughly enough that I wince. Green eyes hold mine but it's like I'm not even here anymore. Words spill out of him, soft but venomous and I feel myself getting dizzy. 1.2.3. What's going on? 4.5.6. Damn, what's the number after that? He picks me up, still whispering. And once again, I'm plunged into darkness._

_ But not before I hear, "You're not my type."_

* * *

I had to restrain myself up there. I know that whole exchange by heart. "Sage, thinks I'm brilliant." Okay, I'm done. Bye. 


End file.
